Walk proud-- a lot of trans girls, they're scared to come out and be seen.

YANSA FATIMA: A portrait of a trailblazing transgender activist.

GLORIA ALLEN: The first sissy ball that I went to, my eyes were just open so wide.

("My Jockey Knows How to Ride" playing) FATIMA: "Mama Gloria," an encore presentation, on Afropop.

(song continues, audience cheering) ♪ ♪ - ♪ Hey ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ Hey ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ Hey!

Hey!

♪ ♪ ♪ - It's an honor to be here tonight to celebrate a living legend.

(audience applauding) Legendary looks like the gorgeous, the generous, the resilient, the luminous, the brilliant, the loving, the one and only Gloria Allen.

(audience cheering and applauding) (whistling) You stand in the presence of a legend.

You stand.

(applause and cheers continue) WOMAN: Come on, Mama Gloria!

(cheers and applause continue) WOMAN: Come on, Mama Gloria!

- (tearfully): Thank you so much for you all to come out and honor me, which I just am loving every minute of it, but I'm accepting this... (audience laughing and cheering) But I'm accepting this award for the girls that taught me and guide me through life.

(audience applauding) And they may not be here today, but they're here in my heart.

And I'm accepting it for them, as well as the youth, too.

And thank you all so much.

(voice trembling): It is a blessing to stand here, to see you all.

And I am so proud of each and every one in this room.

And I love you.

And I thank God for you all.

And I thank God for the transgender people.

(woman cheers) Because we are a blessing.

(audience cheers and applauds) ALLEN: They're finally recognizing the older trans girls, you know, because we've been here.

We've paved the way for them.

And they should acknowledge us.

Back then, we were brutally murdered or beaten up, you know?

And I just couldn't understand why they was doing this to me and to my sisters.

But, um, I got by.

I made it through by the grace of God.

And I thank Him today for holding on to me.

♪ ♪ Trans girls need to know what I went through and how I navigated through the things in life to get here today.

Young trans girls think they can't make it to 40.

They shouldn't have to feel that way.

- Since the beginning of this year, at least 18 transgender people have been murdered in the United States.

- These are the faces of trans women of color who were all murdered in cold blood.

REPORTER: The deaths raising concerns with civil rights and anti-violence advocates.

- When trans people are under attack, what do we do?

CROWD: Stand up!

Fight back!

(church bells ringing in background) ALLEN: People need to know what we have to go through being a transgender person.

Sometimes, it can be difficult and scary.

And then sometimes, it can be beautiful.

Hi!

How are you all?

Don't-- you look beautiful!

It's okay, precious.

I see-- I hadn't seen her.

(chuckles) - I like to make people's days better.

- Okay.

- So... - Wha-- oh!

- It's a little Coach coin purse to go with your purse.

- Oh, bless your heart.

- I live for that moment.

Oh, my God!

- Thank you.

- What a good moment!

(exclaims) - Oh, my goodness.

- Come on, Zoe!

Yes, you did.

- (laughs) You all, when I see you all, you always continue to bless me, you know?

- Yes.

- And it's a blessing just to see that you all are here and out here.

And I'm proud of you, yep.

- Yes.

ZOE: Thank you.

- Well, we're proud of you.

We're proud to call you Mama Gloria, you know?

- (laughing): Okay.

- Yes.

That's what we're proud to do.

- Well, I am so happy I'm doing-- and be safe out here.

- Of course, of course.

ZOE: You, too.

- Please be safe.

- All right, let me love up on you, 'cause it's cold.

- (laughing): Okay, okay, then.

- All right, love.

- And you all take care.

- Stay warm.

You, too.

- Okay.

ALLEN: I was here one particular day, at the Center on Halsted.

I was in the lobby.

They had the round tables down there, and everybody was sitting.

People that come from out of the neighborhood to go into Whole Foods to shop would be there with their children.

And, uh...

The young trans girls would come in and, actually, you saw a floor show.

They shook and shaked everywhere.

I went over to them, and I told 'em, "You all shouldn't do this.

That's, you know, you're being nasty and you're being ugly."

And, uh, one girl said, "Oh, we're sorry, Mama Gloria."

That's how I got my name.

And I thought about it, and I said, "These girls don't have a clue.

"They don't know what love is, and they don't know how to conduct themselves in public."

Then I said, "Well, let me get out here and help somebody who really needs my help."

So a bell went off in my head.

And I said, "They need a charm school here."

And that started it.

I would have classes twice a week for the homeless trans girls and guys.

And, uh, it was a joy for me to sit there with them, listen to their stories-- and they had some stories to tell-- and they would listen to me.

I would share things with them and everything.

And it was such a joy to put myself out there and then give myself to them, which I did.

Charm school is a place where I want girls to come in and, uh, learn how to be a lady, you know?

'Cause if you act like a lady, you'll be treated like a lady.

And, uh, you know, to be a hoochie mama... (audience laughing) You know, but it takes class, you know, and to be proud of yourself, walk with your head up high, you know?

And do those things, and you could get through it.

You know, you could be the ugliest girl in the world, transgender girl, but... (audience laughing) But, you know, if you carry yourself with dignity and pride, you're still beautiful.

You know.

(audience applauding) How are you?

(laughing) This is another baby of mine.

You turned out to be an amazing young woman.

- Thank you.

- And I'm so proud of you.

- (whimpering) The reason why I feel emotional and why I feel the tears coming, it's because, number one, I'm very happy.

And number two, it's because she taught me a lot of, what is more, so, like, to be a lady and to not be, you know, running out here in the streets.

I came a long way because of her.

- Yes, you did.

- You know?

- Yes, you did.

- And, like, seeing her for the first time in a while, it just, you know, makes me emotional, 'cause it's, like, it's, it's all coming back.

- Yes.

- You know, 'cause, like, sometimes I'll look back on where I used to be to where I am now.

So, like, she's a really good role model.

So I'm really thankful to have people like her in my life.

So, I'm just happy.

ALLEN: Charm School was the thing for me.

And then after that, a writer in the Tribune got in touch with me and asked, could she interview me.

And I said yes.

And then I get a call from Phil Dawkins.

He read the article, said, "This would make a good play."

And Phil Dawkins sat with me for about six months in my class, and listened and picked up on everything.

- Y'all think that kind of behavior's cute.

Well, it is not cute.

You leave the reading and the fooling to the rappers and the fool.

In here, we build each other up.

ALLEN: The play was featured at Steppenwolf Garage Theater.

And it played to a packed house for four weeks.

Then I get a chance to see it, because every night, I was at the show.

They called me up and say, "Well, we gonna send you to Minnesota, 'cause the play is gonna be played there."

I went to Minnesota.

Then after that, they went to Washington.

And then it went on to L.A., and it came to New York.

Ooh!

Me going to New York for a week, staying there in the hotels and going to rehearsal.

SANDRA CALDWELL: You know, I was trying to create a character, but the character was sitting right in front of me.

She sits at the rehearsal table with us, and I said, "I'm stealing it all.

"I'm stealing your mannerisms, I'm stealing your voice-- I'm stealing it all."

ALLEN: Sandra was a trans woman.

But she didn't let nobody know until she got the script.

She read it, and she came out.

She had the courage to come out because of my story.

You know, I never thought that people would take me into their arms and treat me like the way they're treating me now.

I feel like Snow White, just been kissed and woke up to life.

♪ ♪ I was born in 1945.

My mother got into a torrid love affair with a man named Bill Dice.

Mr.

Dice, I found out later on, as I got older, was my father.

My mother was 18, pregnant with me, and her father put my mother out of the house.

Some people downstairs helped her to go to her mother in Bowling Green, Kentucky.

And my mother stayed there until she gave birth to me.

And then we came back to Chicago.

We lived on 43rd and State.

My mother was a Jet centerfold model.

They called my mother the Black Marilyn Monroe, 'cause she was stacked to no end.

And she could stop traffic walking down the street.

My mother was the one that had the name that they gave me in high school, "The Body"-- she had a body.

My grandmother was a seamstress.

Oh, she could sew clothes.

And the drag shows on the South Side was a big business.

They had 'em at the Club DeLisa, the Grand Ballroom, Roberts Show Club, and the Jewel Box Revue.

PETITE SWANSON: ♪ You can be my jockey ♪ ♪ And ride all over town ♪ ♪ You can be my jockey ♪ ♪ And ride all over town ♪ ♪ I want my jockey with me ♪ ♪ When my love comes down ♪ - I was at home with her one day.

Some of the drag girls came to the house.

She'd make gowns, and they were beautiful.

And then the male strippers, they would get naked.

And she would be sewing their G-strings, or whatever they called them back then.

And I would just look at my grandmother, "How could you do that?"

And she said, "Honey, it's business.

I got to make my money."

And she did.

Then my mother met Arteal.

Arteal Allen was a much older man.

He was 13 years older than my mother.

And my mother got pregnant again with his son Herbert.

Then she had a set of twins, Albert and Arteal.

The boys, the men in my life, my family members, they didn't take no time up with me.

And my dad never told me he loved me.

My mother was in a loveless marriage.

And she stayed with Arteal for convenience.

But my mother was so in love with Bill Dice.

And my mother would leave me with the kids, and she would be gone weeks, two weeks, and then come home like it was nothing.

I didn't get the nurturing that I was supposed to have.

And my younger siblings, they didn't get it, either, because they had to get it from me.

My mother, uh, had an illness, which they didn't talk about then, in those days.

But my mother, she suffered from postpartum depression, having all these babies, and she just couldn't cope with it.

♪ ♪ My mother was in show business, so she was around a lot of entertainers and show people.

There were transgender girls back then.

And they'd be out on the streets, in the clubs.

It was a flourishing thing.

But they didn't mention "transgender."

They were called "sissies."

And my mother would talk about the girls to me.

And I would just sit back and listen to her.

My mother knew what I was going to end up being.

She knew then.

I was prissy, you know.

I'd sit back with my hands folded.

I loved cutting out paper dolls.

I loved snatching the dolls from my cousins and combing the hair.

I used to look at my mother, and I said, "Ooh, I wish I could be like her."

I knew I was a girl, you know, in the wrong body.

And I didn't like it.

I didn't want to be a boy.

And I said when I got older, I was gonna change.

I graduated from Betsy Ross grammar school, and then I went on to Englewood High School.

It was nice sometimes; sometimes, it wasn't.

I was being chased home.

Bricks, bottles thrown at me.

And I would go home, and I just cried to my mother.

I believe it was my... Beginning of my sophomore year.

I was, you know, changing myself.

I was getting more and more feminine, you know?

And I did girly things.

And one particular day, I was coming home from the Michigan Theatre show with my cousin and my little brother.

These four guys-- three of 'em went to Englewood High School-- grabbed me and took me up into a gangway.

(people shouting) - (voice breaking): They raped me.

And my cousin told my father where they had taken me, and my father, he came, and he protected me.

And he caught one of the guys.

And, you know, they had the barbed wire fence.

And the boy got up to run, and my father grabbed him near the fence.

And my father was gonna crush his neck.

(crying): I begged my father, "Don't do it, no, don't do it."

Because I didn't want my dad to go to jail.

♪ ♪ They caught the guys because I knew who they were.

And I had to go back and forth to court.

They cross-examined me, and all these dumb questions they were asking me.

And I dropped out of high school because I didn't want to go back to be talked about and looked at, you know, the shame of it all.

You know, people looked at me like I was just nothing.

And they treated me like I was nothing.

But I went back.

And I went back stronger than I was before.

I kept everybody laughing.

And I was voted the most friendliest in high school out of 600-and-something seniors that was going there during that time.

And then I was voted a class officer, sergeant at arms.

What does the sergeant at arms do?

Well, they kept order.

Me, keeping order-- and I did.

In high school, the only friends I had was girls.

The guys didn't like me.

And I didn't like them, either, so... (directional clicking) Hi, beautiful!

- Hi, how're you doing?

- How are you?

- Fine, and you?

- I'm fine.

- That's good.

YVONNE: Now, let me ask you-- I'm a little ignorant.

ALLEN: Yeah, go ahead.

- Sometimes not politically correct.

ALLEN: Go ahead.

- Would you be a transgender female or transgender male?

Or what?

- Uh... - Do you just say transgender?

- Or just what... - I just say transgender.

- Okay, okay.

- But I'm, I'm, I'm a transgender female.

- Okay.

- Okay?

- Okay, I want to get the story straight.

- Right.

- When I tell my family.

- (laughs) - I want to be politically correct.

- Correct, okay.

- Well, I told my family already.

I said, "This was my prom date.

And now she, she was George, and now she's Gloria."

- Gloria, right.

- And they just said, "Gloria's gorgeous."

- (laughs) - And then I think we just were in a class.

- Yeah, right.

ALICE: I think we just said... You, you said, like, "You want to go to prom?"

I'm, like, "Yeah," and, and then we just... And I think I didn't know how to do a dance, and you showed me how to do some dances.

- Yeah, yeah.

YVONNE: Oh.

- Because I never could dance.

And so George showed me dances, and we practiced.

So when we got to prom, in between singing, we danced, a lot.

- We danced.

Yes, we did.

- And we were good.

- You were.

- Because we practiced.

- And then we went to Mr. Kelly's.

Remember?

- Yeah, we certainly did.

YVONNE: Oh, rush.

- We were out all night, yeah.

ALLEN: Hi.

- Good to see you.

- How are you?

- I missed you last time.

- I know.

- Yeah, good to see you.

- You look fabulous.

ALICE: Gloria wanted to show her picture from high school.

YVONNE: Oh, okay.

WOMAN: Oh, okay.

- In high school, I was friendly with all the girls, you know?

WOMEN: Yes.

- But it was you damn boys that got on my nerves, you know?

'Cause you didn't understand.

MAN: How was, how was your relationship with the football, with the football team?

- With the... MAN: With the athletes?

Didn't you, weren't you, like, the towel boy or something like that?

- Uh, no.

MAN: Didn't you do something for them?

Or did they just tease you?

- They teased me a lot.

WOMAN: Really?

- Mm-hmm, they teased me a lot.

And then-- I'm not mentioning no names, but some of 'em had fun with me.

(group groans) - Like, I noticed, you, you would be around the girls.

ALLEN: Yes.

- Not hanging around the guys.

ALLEN: No.

- But at that stage in my life, I didn't have a label for you.

ALLEN: Right.

WOMAN: At that stage in my life, I didn't have a label for anybody.

(Allen laughing, group talking indistinctly) MAN: I want to thank you for showing up and sharing your dirty laundry.

(all laughing) Thanks.

ALLEN: Okay.

WOMAN: If we can just all remember it.

MAN: Yeah, set the record straight for me.

I got to go home now.

(all laughing) ALLEN: It was fun because they got a chance to tell me about myself.

And I just sat back and laughed.

And here, they see me in a different image.

You know, they remember George Allen.

But now they had to deal with Gloria Allen.

♪ ♪ After high school, I started going to the clubs.

I went to college for a year, didn't finish because I was so... How would I put it?

I was so into doing grown things, you know what I mean?

And, um, I just didn't go back to school anymore.

I wanted to experience life, which I did.

And it was one particular club that everybody would go to.

And the name of it was the Parkside Lounge on 51st Street, right off of Cottage Grove.

I was underage-- I was, like, 19.

And I was so fascinated by these clubs, 'cause all I saw was men up in there.

Couldn't get in the club, but I was staying out and watch 'em as they go in.

And this was so much fun to me.

And then finally, I got into the club.

I met my first boyfriend in the Parkside Lounge.

And Maurice was a replica of Johnny Mathis.

When I was living with Maurice, that was my first time ever seeing men in high heels.

Mr. Edgar and Miss Benet and Miss Herman, they would come over to our house every week.

Every weekend, they were there.

And we'd drink wine and have a good conversation.

I was just outdone when I saw them walking down the streets with their high heels on in broad daylight.

It was just like a, a parade of sissies in heels.

They still live on in my head.

I know who they are, and I know what I learned from them.

The first sissy ball that I went to was at the Grand Ballroom.

Mr. Edgar, Miss Herman, and Miss Benet, they took me with them to the ball.

We got to the ball and all these lights and decoration, tables were all set up and done up beautifully.

Then they had the categories, uh, for the queen, the king, streetwear.

The girls would come in, being, uh, carried in, like Cleopatra.

Wilbert "Hi-Fi" White was really the man or the woman that presented the balls.

And Wilbert "Hi-Fi" White went all out of the way.

Horse-drawn carriages.

My eyes were just open so wide.

My mouth was even open.

On the weekends, I'd go to the Parkside and have fun, then come home, and then get up Monday morning and go to work.

And I was working at the University of Chicago Hospital.

I worked in the X-ray department as an X-ray technician.

And I did that for a while until I got my certificate in nursing.

And then I start dressing up.

I put on dresses during the weekend, 'cause I had to work during the week.

You know, I was a weekend drag queen.

And I did that for a while.

And then one particular day, I decide, "Hell, I'm tired of being a weekend drag queen."

You know, "I'm a woman.

I'm going work as a woman and everything."

And I knew the hospital wasn't gonna let me do it.

So I left because I wanted to be me.

I finally got a job at the Zanzibar Hotel.

And I went to my boss, and I told my boss, I said, "Would you keep me on, or would you fire me if I start coming to work as a woman?"

And my boss told me, he said, "Sure, you can come.

You're a good worker, and we love you."

And that started.

The George stepped out of my body and went on about his business.

(door opens) GAIL: Hi!

- (laughs): Hello, sweetheart.

- Hi!

Come on in!

- Okay.

- I'm one-- which, what cousin am I?

I don't even know... - You are my first cousin.

GAIL: Cousins are downstairs.

ALLEN: Hello!

GAIL: She and I are ten days apart.

ALLEN: LV?

I'm fine.

How are you doing?

LV: I'm good.

ALLEN: Mwah!

(woman laughing in background) Hey!

CHARLOTTE: Hi, baby.

ALLEN: Hey, hey.

Mwah!

CHARLOTTE: Hi, baby.

- Back in the day, she was absolutely beautiful.

- Yes, and they were so protective of me.

- Yeah, we used to, we had to... - Because if their friends talked about me... - Baby, it was on, you know?

- ...it was on, right?

My cousins and them would fight.

Would fight.

- But we usually-- it was usually people that didn't, that really didn't know her.

- Right.

- Because all of our friends that knew her, they, we all, she was just...

I don't know how to, she just always been Gloria, you know?

- Yup.

- She was Gloria in George's skin.

- Right.

GAIL: You know... ALLEN: Yeah.

GAIL: When he first met you, it was, like, back in 1973, when he first met Gloria, because I told him, I said, "I have a cousin who's gay," and he's, like, "Oh, you do?"

I was, like, "Yeah," and he was, like, "Yeah, okay, well, as long as he don't bother me, I won't bother him!"

(LV and Allen laugh) Got a attitude, you know?

And so when he met Gloria, he was really, he was really perplexed.

I know he was, 'cause he was perplexed.

But we were-- he lived with us.

And Gloria came to stay with us for a while.

LV: Now, mind you, I'm a much older guy than they are.

I'm 81 years old.

For, we didn't know no better, you know, 'cause it was the old days.

GAIL: He never saw-- remember, he hadn't seen you... ALLEN: No.

GAIL: ...in your dress and makeup and your wig and everything.

So here we are, now she come, she come home from work.

She in a little dress pants and a shirt, trying to pass off as a guy, guy.

That wasn't working, but anyway, she tried hard.

- Thank you.

(laughing) - So she comes in and we're going out.

So me and Renee and Gloria and, um, Nathaniel was coming over, and, and Juanita, and they was coming to our house.

We gonna all get dressed at our house.

So V is there, and he's in and out, you know, with the kids.

Him and Michael, my, my brother-in-law, they was up in front.

We in the back, and we're back there, we got...

So all of a sudden, we look up, here come Gloria, and she got boobs, she got butt, she got hips!

She, you know, she's all got them.

We all looking at her, we're, like, "What the hell?"

- (laughs) - "Where did that come from?!"

ALLEN: Kresge's, the five-and-dime store, with their balloons.

They helped me a lot.

I wanted to fill my bra up and get that bouncy effect.

So a girlfriend of mine, she told me, she said, "Well, do the water balloons."

And I said, "Get out of here-- water?"

She said, "We'll fill your balloons up to the desired size that you want and stuff 'em in your bra."

And I did, you know, and I'm just thinking, "Oh, this is so, so fishy," like... You know, that's the term they used for women-- fishy.

Never figured that one out.

CHARLOTTE: What made this party so good was, Gloria and her friends came to this party.

So behind the guys that I'm trying to tell, "Y'all don't want this, these girls' numbers, for real, "'cause I don't want you to get, I don't want you to fall out with me," Gloria is dancing that particular night.

- Oh, my goodness.

- She's dancing my, her butt off, boy.

And she just a-clowning.

Those balloons that Gail was just describing to you, one of them fell out on the floor.

- (shrieks, laughing): Oh, no!

- Honey, she was, like, "Yes, I have to get my body together, baby!"

And she danced and she went down and picked it up and put it back in.

And everybody had a good time and just kept right on going.

- I wore balloons for a little while, until I found out where I could go get my hormone shots.

And I did, I went to Dr.

Ain.

Dr.

Ain was up here on the North Side.

He only charged ten dollars for a shot.

And we were going to him every two weeks to get a shot.

And then my breasts start coming in, and I just fell in love with them.

♪ ♪ So I was out with Miss Kitty.

We would all meet up at this bar.

And Miss Kitty came over to me and told me, she said, "I got a friend that want to meet you."

You know, so I said, "Okay, I'll meet him."

His name was Kenneth.

The guy was gorgeous, tall, handsome.

He was just everything that I wanted in a man.

He invited me out that night.

I stayed all night with him and everything.

The next thing I knew it, I was head over heels for him.

I start coming up north every weekend.

And he would talk to me on the phone for hours and hours.

(phone ringing) I loved that this man was paying attention to me, calling me up every night.

I'm calling him up.

This man just, he was my dream come true.

And we moved in together, and he would go to work, and his money, he would give it to me.

And I was just, "Oh, a man giving me his paycheck!"

And, oh, this was it for me-- I loved it.

And I went back to school, and Kenneth was working.

I'm working, so I saved up a little nest egg.

And we bought a home over in the Beverly section.

And we had a nice house, cute.

I stayed with him for ten years.

The first five years was just new and exciting.

And I get a chance to be a wife.

After the first five years, Kenneth showed his true colors to me.

He was abusive, he was a cheater.

But he had my nose open-- I couldn't leave him.

I wanted to be with this man.

So the last five years, I endured the pain and the hurt.

This man would beat me to no end.

Then it got really bad.

He would come home from work, put on a white glove, and take his finger and go around the woodwork.

And if it was dust on the finger, it was time for me to get my butt beat.

Beat with coat hangers, had cigarette butts put out on me.

I would catch him coming out of hotels with different guys and different women, and trans women.

And this went on until I finally got tired of it.

I started fighting back.

I would place hammers and screwdrivers in different parts of the apartment.

So when he jumped on me, I could run to that spot and pick up a hammer or a knife to protect myself.

And then I shot him in the car on the Dan Ryan.

Kenneth kept on ranting and raving in, in the car, 'cause he already beat me up... - Mm-hmm.

- ...out in Morgan Park.

And I'm in the car, crying and upset.

"Why are you doing this to me?"

And I got so tired of it.

So I went on in my purse and pulled out the .22.

He was in St. Bernard's Hospital.

All kind of tubes in him.

And I wasn't expecting him to make it.

And he pulled through it, but he didn't tell on me.

And after that, he got better-- he got well.

He realized, you know, what I had done to him.

And he...

He tried to kill me.

It was a policeman that came to the house, and the policeman told me, "You need to get out of this relationship, "'cause if you don't, you're gonna kill him or he's gonna kill you."

And I listened to the policeman.

So...

I left Kenneth.

And, uh...

I was heartbroken.

And...

I didn't know what to do.

I got to the point I was doing harm to myself.

I couldn't get over Kenneth, I, and I didn't want to live.

I had to do some serious thinking.

I had to pray.

I had to ask God to forgive me for the bad things that I'm thinking about and to help me.

♪ ♪ As a kid growing up, I lived across from Greater Metropolitan Missionary Baptist Church.

My mother would escort me across the street to the church, and I'd go inside and be there all day long.

I got a chance to sing in the choir.

It was exciting, because I got the attention that I wanted.

(band playing, people talking in background) (band playing, choir singing) (song continues) Whoo!

(song continues) Whoo!

(song continues) PREACHER: Let's take this moment, as Sister Gloria recounts the years of her life and has come back to the church of her beginnings, I want to allow her this opportunity to greet us and to just share words of encouragement.

- Thank you.

It's been so many things that God has blessed me through the years.

A play was written about me called "Charm."

And God is so good, and He's so great, and He's here today, every day, with us.

You just have to open up your heart and your mind and accept Him in.

And that's what I have done.

And I want to thank you all for welcome me back again.

And I'm not gonna stay away this time, you know.

(congregation applauds) When I can get back, I'm coming.

(band playing) (music fades) ♪ ♪ In 1982, they were doing surgery under the table at Cook County Hospital if you had a Medicaid card.

I got a hookup through a girlfriend of mine's, Julius.

She had her surgery done first.

And this is what I wanted to do for myself.

Kenneth never wanted me to have the surgery.

I did it for me.

And when they did it, I couldn't go back.

This was it for me.

If I had to do it all over again, I would be, hope to be much younger.

And with the new technology that's out there now, I would feel better about myself.

My mother was there to see me through it.

She was there waiting on me hand and foot, helping me to get up out of the bed, to walk to the bathroom, bathed me.

My mother checked me out to see if everything was all right.

My mother would go to the clinic with me for checkups.

She would do everything for me.

That woman was so amazing.

My mother doing this for me, her son, which is her daughter now.

- So, um, so we want to take time to acknowledge the elders in this moment, because, like, as the cliché saying goes, you cannot know where you're going till you know where you've been, right?

Um, so, gonna announce one of our elders right now.

- Thank you.

- Gloria?

- Okay.

- Come on up.

- I'm Gloria Allen.

(crowd cheers and applauds) I'm known as...

I'm... (cheers continue) I'm known as Mama Gloria, and I'm here, I've been here for, whoo, since the prehistoric existence.

And, uh, transgender women have been going through a lot.

I mean, a lot.

And, uh, we have been thrown under the bus.

We have been tarred and feathered.

We had our throats slit.

And it doesn't make sense.

And people, we need to stand up and acknowledge ourselves.

Everybody's beautiful.

And I am so proud of my young generation, because you all hold the key.

I didn't have this when I was coming up.

Nobody heard of me.

I didn't have a Center on Halsted.

Walk proud-- a lot of trans girls, they're scared to come out and be seen.

I want to be seen-- take pictures, you know?

Take all the pictures you want to.

'Cause I'm gonna let you know, I am somebody.

- All right!

(crowd cheers and applauds) (cars passing) ALLEN: The Town Hall Apartments that I live in now, that's home for me.

It's so many amazing queer people up in there.

And...

It's fun, because I get a chance to interact with everybody.

WOMAN: We loved each other and our mothers!

(all laughing) ALLEN: I'm in a beautiful stage of life.

DON: Absolutely.

- So many of my friends... DON: Mm-hmm.

- ...didn't make it-- they gone.

- None of us, when we were young, ever thought about living to be this age.

Or what life experience would be in this age.

And there were no examples.

ALLEN: Getting older for me, I treasure it, you know?

'Cause if you live, you going to get old.

And if you take care of yourself, you're still going to get old.

My thing is that, um, you know, everything gets old sooner or later.

Oh, it's horrible.

I, um...

I know the good fairy wasn't coming.

But I sure saved the tooth.

Was here eating a steak.

It was a bone, and I bit hard, and the tooth just...

It was loose in the first place, but it just came on out.

No blood.

So... My teeth, tooth, teeth, all of 'em are sort of weak from old age.

Diabetes is just awful for a person to have, because they have to keep monitoring themselves and eat right.

I want to get a boyfriend, a boyfriend that's going to look at, after me, or, you know, be close to me, because I don't want to be in the house by myself, and... ...something happens-- I have a stroke or a heart attack.

You know, I want him to be there so he can alert my family that I'm gone.

(reverse signal beeping) ALLEN: No, 'cause I got my scrubs on.

RENEE: Is that good?

- Yeah.

- Okay, so now what else you got going on here?

(Allen clears throat) RENEE: This and this, right?

ALLEN: You take that.

- What is this outfit, baby?

(laughs): I'm just saying!

This is not what we're used to.

- I know.

- Baby, you look like a... Whoo!

WOMAN: Okay.

- That's okay.

Yeah, we're gonna get you together.

- Yeah.

(nurse laughing) NURSE: I hope you get home safe, okay?

- Yeah, I am.

WOMAN: Yeah, she will, she will.

- Thanks for taking care of her.

NURSE: Of course, she's such a joy to take care of, so... - She ain't give you no problem?

- Not at all.

No, no, she was a joy to take care of.

(laughs) - Very good.

- Thank you so much.

(car door closes, talking in background) (talking, laughing in background) GAIL: You gonna put us out?

We gonna feed you first, then we'll go.

(Renee laughing) RENEE: We're already fighting.

(sighs) (talking in background) ALLEN: Seriously speaking.

(Gail talking indistinctly) RENEE: I brought water up for everyone.

GAIL: You did?

Yeah.

RENEE: Okay-- bottled water.

GAIL: Yeah, okay, and what we're gonna do is just... RENEE: Would you like a bottle of water, Gloria?

ALLEN: It was over here.

GAIL: Oh, so when you hit... - I hit... - You was already...

Gravity had you.

ALLEN: Right.

- Oh, man.

Well, get out the way, hurting my cousin.

Old wooden chair.

Here, put your keys there.

RENEE: We'll, we'll fix you up.

GAIL: Gloria, don't do nothing.

Okay.

- Okay, I'm, I'm just moving... GAIL: Don't start crying, girl.

- I'm all right.

GAIL: Want you to just calm down.

RENEE: So where you want me to set this so you can have easy access?

ALLEN: You can take that one home with you.

- (laughs): Take it home with me!

ALLEN: I knew I had been feeling off balance.

I was just not stable.

You know, I couldn't...

I can't walk a straight line.

I would just weed in and weed out, you know, zigzag it, whatever it was.

And I knew something was wrong.

And then when I tried the new medication that they put me on, and evidently, the medication was too strong, the diabetes medicine, and I was passing out.

I can't lay up too long.

Because I feel that, you know, life goes on no matter what.

So get up and, you know, get back to your old self.

And that's what I'm doing.

♪ ♪ (doorman greeting) - Hello, how are you?

DOORMAN: Pretty good, how're you doing?

♪ ♪ ALLEN: I'm living from month to month.

I'm on Social Security.

And Elliot, every other week, I work for him, and that helps a great deal.

(vacuum cleaner running) ♪ ♪ Okay, I'm Mama Gloria.

- Mama Gloria, thank you for joining us today.

- Okay, you're... - We're thrilled to have you.

- Oh, I'm happy to be here.

- So this is About Face Theatre.

- Yes, I've heard so much about it.

- This is our, one of our main rehearsal spaces.

- Okay!

- So we're excited... - Great!

- Hey, everybody, look who's here.

This is Mama Gloria.

ALLEN: Hello!

- So our whole mission is about advancing dialogue about gender and sexuality.

And the youth theater really evolved to create a space, what we think about as a brave space, for queer folks 13 to 24 years old.

And we've had the opportunity to interview people about their stories and their lives, and then fold that into the play that we're making this summer that is called "2020."

And it's all about looking to the past to learn lessons from the past so we can imagine a better future.

- You have to forgive me, 'cause I ain't got no teeth in my mouth, you know?

So if I don't sound right, overlook it.

(all laugh) When I came out of my mother's womb, I was out.

(all laugh) You know, I knew what I wanted to be and who I was at a early age, and everybody knew it.

You know?

They knew I wasn't no boy.

The time that I was coming along, transgender was kept a secret.

Nobody knew what that word was about, you know?

And we were either beaten or murdered, you know?

So this went on for years, and nobody would say anything or fight for us or anything.

I look at it out here today.

People are so hateful today, and it's so sad that we have to endure this.

Some people understand, but it could be better.

You know, much better.

- Tell me more about how, like, those ballroom parties, like, how were, what were the performances like?

How did you guys, like, create that together?

- The ballroom scene when I was coming up, costumes and makeup was just flamboyant and beautiful.

RuPaul couldn't light a match to us back then.

(all gasp) - Oh!

- He sure couldn't.

- Are we throwing shade?

- Yeah.

(laughing) (all laugh) And people say, "Well, don't you get offended by them calling you 'Mama'?"

No, I do not.

I'm so happy that I got all these adopted children in my life.

- What is your hope for the future of queer youth?

- Okay, the hope for the future for the trans community is to see the trans girls and the trans men get an education, so they can take that torch and run with it, you know?

And have ideas, bright ideas, because you all are so young and so beautiful, and you offer a lot to this world.

And you all need to be heard.

We can make a better place to live, but we have to know how to stand up and fight for that.

- Snaps!

(snapping fingers, laughing) - You get some snaps, and you get some snaps, and you get snaps!

(all laughing) ♪ ♪ ALLEN: I want people to remember me as being a joyful person.

Really happy-go-lucky.

And I'm a forgiving person, and...

I want them to remember my dimples, you know?

'Cause I got these dimples through God.

God took his fingers and said, "Okay, you're cute and you're funny."

And I want them to realize that I am a good person, I'm a trans person, and I have a beautiful spirit.

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪