
An Olympic Athlete Takes on Depression
Episode 1 | 9m 8sVideo has Closed Captions
A short documentary of Olympic shot putter Raven Saunders return home.
This short documentary tells the story of Olympic shot putter Raven Saunders, the intensity of her 2016 Olympic experience, her childhood trauma, and the pitfalls of celebrity that challenged her mental health. After receiving care for depression, Raven spoke out about her struggles and became a leading advocate for mental health dialogue among athletes.

An Olympic Athlete Takes on Depression
Episode 1 | 9m 8sVideo has Closed Captions
This short documentary tells the story of Olympic shot putter Raven Saunders, the intensity of her 2016 Olympic experience, her childhood trauma, and the pitfalls of celebrity that challenged her mental health. After receiving care for depression, Raven spoke out about her struggles and became a leading advocate for mental health dialogue among athletes.
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Learn Moreabout PBS online sponsorshipRAVEN: I'm Raven Saunders and I'm an Olympic shot putter.
REPORTER: Raven Saunders leads the world in the women's shot put and she blasts that shot out.
REPORTER 2: Raven Saunders from the USA, such power in these throws.
RAVEN: So, my nickname is the Hulk and I'd like to think that I'm pretty strong, especially you know, for, for a girl.
I bench pressed 480 pounds.
I've squatted 700 pounds and I guess when people see me, seeing how strong I am, people just think that nothing phases the Hulk.
Growing up, where I grew up, being tough was like the norm.
So it was me, my sister and then my mother.
And over the years I had some step parents that were drug abusers and also alcoholics.
And you know, I remember there were instances where somebody may put their hands on my mom and now me at like eight or nine, it was only about so much that I could do.
But once I got to high school, now I'm like, well I have to protect her.
Hitting the weight room now this is an outlet for me to make sure that never happens again.
And being stronger than most of the guys, people were just like yea you gotta come out for the shot put.
I was like, I guess I'll try it out.
You know and then I was like wow, I found something that I'm good at.
It gave me a sense of purpose.
ANNOUNCER: Raven Saunders for the lead.
(grunts).
RAVEN: And then once I won that state championship I was like ok, I could actually do something with this.
2016, I'm a sophomore in college and making that Olympic team was definitely within an arm's reach.
So I went to the Olympic trials and my second throw, I just knew.
I was like, "Oh, I made the team, I made the team!"
♪ ♪ It's crazy because we go through this Olympic stadium, there's 30, 40, 50,000 people like cheering you on.
You're around the best athletes in the world.
It's one of the highest of highs that there is.
So when it came time for competition, I was ready.
ANNOUNCER: Raven Saunders.
RAVEN: But, you know, once you step foot on that line or once you step foot in that ring, the amount of pressure and stress, it's very tough.
So for me, I have to go to this place.
Sometimes even a deep, dark place.
Just to try and pull out that crazy level of intensity that we always have to go to.
Like, I'm about to kill it because I'm the strongest.
I feel like for me, that's how I got by.
ANNOUNCER: Raven Saunders, USA.
RAVEN: And then I made that final.
ANNOUNCER: Here's the sixth and final round effort for Raven Saunders.
(crowd cheering).
And that's her best throw of the day!
RAVEN: I ended up being fifth place out of the greatest athletes from all around the world.
And I couldn't be mad at that.
I was extremely happy.
Coming back home, my city gave me my own day.
I had a parade.
REPORTER: The streets were lined with anxious spectators hoping to get a wave from their hometown hero.
RAVEN: Went back to school and everybody knew who I was.
REPORTER: Are ya'll proud of Raven Saunders?
CROWD: Yes!
RAVEN: I was definitely riding a high.
But once that high wore off and I had to face reality, that was when things got bad.
During season, I know who I am, I have a purpose.
But you know you get back to that offseason period and it's like I'm still sitting with the you know, the childhood traumas and stresses and confidence issues and a lot of these things that I hadn't let go or I hadn't talked about.
Now as an adult they're still coming into play.
I was battling a lot.
It was like the weight of the world was resting on my chest and there was nothing I could do about it.
But I felt like I couldn't talk to people because I had gotten to a place of such success that I wasn't saying, "Hey!"
you know, "I'm struggling with this."
Or "Hey!
I'm dealing with you know, all these issues and problems."
I was making it seem like everything's good on this side of the hood.
Like I made it out, I'm doing good now.
I didn't realize that I was actually suffering from depression.
It was just like, I guess this is how life goes.
As my depression got worse, I was exhausted, tired, not really caring about anything and once I got to the track season, I really lost all passion for it.
And then it was like, I don't want to be here anymore.
I quit.
So I feel like people that are about to commit suicide, before it happens like you kind of have like a plan.
So everyday going to campus, when you get to the end of the main road, there's a drop off.
And I always looked at it like man that'd be crazy if somebody drove off it.
And uh, as my depression got worse I started to have these thoughts about, like you know, I bet I won't make it if I go off this cliff.
And then at one point I had to drive past that place again.
I looked at it and I'm like, "Hey, I could do this."
But, something in me was just like, "Hit up your therapist."
I was like how everything was weighing on me, how I didn't see a way out and pretty much how in the next couple hours I don't know if I'm going to be here.
But, thankfully she texted me back, saying "give me a minute to help you."
And, just hearing that um, it meant a lot.
So I went home and it was enough time for one of our trainers to give me a call and get me to come in and get the help that I needed.
They took me to the hospital, got checked in and uh, I remember being thankful, like all of these things that had been weighing on me for 22 years at that point, I was finally able to process it.
It was definitely a battle.
Mentally, mentally challenging.
Oh my God.
But I was finally able to separate Raven from the "Hulk".
Going to this up and coming Olympics, I really don't think that anything at this point could phase me.
I'm better now.
I still suffer from depression, I mean it's one of those things that doesn't just go away.
But when I look at life and all that I've been through and all I've dealt with and all that I've overcome.
When I set foot in that stadium, I can handle anything.